disintegrate

THEODORA(:
08041991
~~ccps~~ ~~cchms~~ mjc,atlas
~~npcc~~ ~~life-saving~~ 6th SC
~~harmony'0607~~ 08S204

do well for As
A for PW!
Become thinner=/
All events successful
Eat more hagen daaz(:
No more natual disasters
PC

amalina
atiqah
bixuan
cailing
edwin
hoa kiat
huishan
huixin
kehui
mao qiang
marianne
minyu
muhaina
rena
shannon
shiyeng
supanee
thendral
xavier
xingying
xueli
weihao
yinmei
zheng xiang

Layout: lyricaltragedy
Pattern: tillyness

hits

rate

i'm so sorry for being so stupid. i dont understand why i just cant get it even though you all put in so much effort and money to teach me. sorry for being such a disappointment.

two is better than one.

it's so hard trying to fight a losing battle. SIGH!

i find it increasing hard to control my emotions. i dont understand why but i am more prone to being irritated or agitated. i feel so bad being angry=P

all the time i was and still is willowing in self pity.
won't i just wake up? how much more time do i have to waste before i can finally open my eyes to reality..months? years? how long do i need.

总是在跌跌撞撞时才了解，有些事情是不能强求。

i just started reading "ps i love you" and i felt so much more enlightened now. although i have yet to finish the book, it already made me think about me, my life and the things and people around me.
life is so short that before we know it, it has already ended. until now, it seemed as though i just stepped out of my secondary school life yesterday. roughly less than two months more to another big thing. something that will open a new chapter in my life. why does time fly. my jc life seems so blurred i could hardly remember all the details of things that has happened in these two years. they are all but vague details left in my memory.

humans are so vulnerable. we think that we are almighty- we are the most superior of the animals, only we have the ability to destroy and create the environment..but we are still under the mercy of something powerful called death. when faced with death, we shudder. how many when faced with death can smile and say, "lord, take me away."? not many. it's really scary. but death is so unexpected we can never know when it'll come. when we are left we only not long to live, we start to regret things we did not do, things we did not say. every sec is an opportunity. if we lose it, we lose our many chances one by one. i am trying hard to hold onto it. but it's so hard to grasp. everything seemed to be slipping through my fingers and i don't know what to do. it's getting harder each day like climbing up a steep mountain or swimming against the currents. but do i want to live a life of regrets?

it's now or never.

even though i didnt want it, it's still stuck with me for the rest of my life. maybe it's my fault for the outcome now. but i wasn't the only one who wished for it. you played a part in the decision making. you decided to throw away those memories. and so i followed you. i thought i could keep my memories of the past in a box and bury it. but it's useless. it kept on coming back to me, like a ghost haunting me,. the ghost of our past.

p.s.
recently i am easily irritatable and i don't know why. if i have unknowing hurt you, i'm terribly sorry. i have been enjoying the solitude of the bus rides home, sorting things in my mind out. i shouldn't be so mean some times.

fight on theodora! if you say you can, you will.

dear God, please let tomorrow be a smooth sailing day. i guess tomorrow will be my dooms day, but please dont let me die too badly. please let me stay alive because i'm still so young=(

but i'm struggling to stay alive now=(